I suck - again.

Today I was a "bad" barista. I was slightly mouthy to two customers. Just tired of the complaining!!! Seriously people - BE NICER! Not just to me, to everyone! Can you just imagine a world where people were just one notch nicer? Wow.

First suck-fest:
Customer: Can I have a bagel with cream cheese?
Me: We're sold out of bagels (as I point to the pastry case clearly full of all sorts of goodies, but no bagels)
Customer: I can't believe you don't have any bagels!
Me: We have several other options (again indicating the pastry case)
Customer: Do you have any hidden in the back?
Me: No ma'am. No bagels hidden. You can see what we do have left, right here in the pastry case.
Customer: Man. Followed by a huff. That's why I came here!
Me: Well, there is a bagel shop right across the street. I imagine they have bagels left.
Customer: Huff.
Me: Stare.
Customer: I guess I'll have a medium coffee...to go.
Me: $2.04. Stare.

Second suck-fest occurred no more than 20 minutes later:
Customer: So how does the internet work?
Me: Holding my sarcasm to answer the question she really meant, how does she get access to it...I explained that she needs a gift card with a balance on it, but can use it on her next purchase so there is no real cost involved.
Customer: Why do I have to pay for the internet?
Me: You don't. Just buy a gift card and use that number as your access code. Then, next time you come in to purchase your drink, use the card. You just bought a drink for $4.05 so get a $5 gift card - use it now for the internet, then use it next time you want the drink.
Customer: I don't get it.
Me: Explain again using different words in case my word choice was the problem...even using the visual aids of the gift card and her receipt.
Customer: I *get* it, I just don't understand why I can't just log on for free.
Me: Well, it is free if you plan to ever drink a coffee from here again because you can use your gift card to pay for the drink.
Customer: But this is a college area so I should be able to just log on to the internet.
Me: You can, with this gift card.
Customer: What?
Me: You know, there's an internet cafe on the corner down the street.
Customer: I know, I've been there every day this week.
Me: Hm. Well, do you want this gift card, or do you want to go back there for the internet?
Customer: I'll take the gift card.

Really? Gift cards / internet and bagels. Two of the top 3 most irritating customer issues. (The third, and number one, is the customer that asks if they can take from the tip jar to buy their coffee - no, sir, you can't. And yes, I get that question at least once per week.

Needing caffeine, Dee